Health & Relationships

Happy New Year to the readers of The World! As a monthly writer, I never quite know who’s reading, so it’s always nice when someone tells me they read the Natural Health column. With this theme, I wanted to share about the importance of relationships in our health.

Health and Relationships

I was fascinated to learn of the current Harvard study that began in 1938, one of the longest continuous studies of adult development in the world. The researchers then began tracking 268 of the school’s sophomores, who have been observed since as their lives have progressed. There are now less than twenty of these originals remaining, all in their nineties. (Interestingly, one of those recruits was JFK.) Without going into the details of this study over these many years, what the generations of researchers have learned is that relationships are a key to healthy aging. It is described that loneliness can lead to a similar decline in health as smoking and alcohol abuse can.

We have come to focus a lot of attention in health care on numbers. We have numbers of white blood cells, low-density lipoprotein, systolic and diastolic blood pressure, thyroid hormones, and many other numbers of very small things in our bodies. These numbers are clues for your providers to see if your body is on track. But the quality of your various relationships, not just your marriage (though this is of primary importance), should also have attention as we’ve come to learn that quality of relationship also clearly influences the quality of health. I wonder if this is welcome or unwelcome information to you at this moment.

A Worthy New Year’s Resolution

This is the time we all make our resolutions and start anew. Is yours to lose weight, exercise more, eat less sugar, quit smoking, drink less alcohol? These are all so important, but also remember to put attention to improving your relationships. The research shows that people that create healthy relationships end up eating healthier, drinking less alcohol, and remain active and engaged. This is beneficial to both their physical and mental aging processes.

Maybe you’re thinking about your marriage, the relationship with your parents, children, siblings, friends, co-workers, reflecting if it seems healthy or not. This is a good place to start and now is a good time. In my new year’s time, I’ve been self-reflecting on this, particularly with my patients as a medical practitioner. I hope you don’t mind that I express my gratitude here for these relationships. It is the greatest part of my daily work life. I’m passionate and in awe about the effects of acupuncture and Chinese Medicine with those I treat, but what is most moving to me is the relationships I am honored to form with my patients.

Can you be real with that other, being authentic, transparent, honest, sharing what is true for you? I’m surely not an expert in relationship or psychology, but I know what it feels like to look the other in the eye and be real, sharing the real feeling, whether painful, scary, or with deep gratitude. A healthy relationship must be based on these things. It turns out to be easier if both parties want to be healthy, which is not always the case.

Stress and Honest Communication

I often see that physical symptoms are coming from stress, acute or chronic. Sometimes this is rooted in finances and not having enough, but more often I listen to people talk about the struggle with a family member or co-worker. If we are to address the root of the problem, it may come down to somehow improving the relationship with this person. I’m learning that being honest with how you may be feeling is often the best that can be done to communicate and actually see something change. This can surely be a work in progress. Honest communication to improve a relationship is a noble and worthwhile resolution that may ultimately benefit your health and well-being. Again, Happy and Healthy New Year ahead!